Date Yourself for Unshakeable Self-Confidence.
Valentine's Day is just around the corner, and we are being bombarded with messages promoting coupledom and romance. But true love isn’t champagne, red roses and chocolates. True and unconditional love means accepting someone just as they are, without expecting anything in return.
Unconditional love is the purest, most beautiful form of love, and it starts with you learning to love yourself.
Here’s your homework: At least once a year and ideally at least once a month, take yourself on a date. Treat yourself with all the care and attention you deserve. Spend time cultivating unconditional self-love and enjoy basking in its glory.
Why You Should Date Yourself.
When you date yourself, you get to spend time getting to know yourself intentionally. Although you spend 100% of your time with yourself, how often do you stop to think about the things you like, and why you like them?
Boost Your Confidence
Going on a solo-date pushes you out of your comfort zone, and the sense of accomplishment you get when you do something difficult will give your self-confidence a big boost.
Better Relationships
Solo-dating teaches you that you can give yourself everything you need, and so you are less likely to be dependent on others.
Do What You Want
Instead of pleasing others, solo-dating means you get to eat what you want, go where you want and do whatever you want all at your own pace.
Get To Know Yourself
When you date yourself you are forced to spend time looking inward and learning about your desires. You also learn how to deal with situations on your own.
By spending quality time in your own company, you develop deep-rooted security and self-confidence, because you know you can provide everything you need. When you see that you can give yourself everything you need, you are less likely to depend on others for your happiness.
Where would you like to go on your first solo- date?
Take some time to think about the activities you enjoy most, not what your kids, partner or friends like doing, this is all about you. Perhaps you love spicy or vegetarian food and never get to have it because you’re always outvoted. Maybe you love hiking and haven’t been for ages. Your date with yourself could be at home or involve going out, it might be expensive or completely free.
Not sure what to do for your solo date? Check out some fun ideas for dating yourself in this Life Goals Magazine article.
Once you have figured out what you want to do on your date and decided how long it will be, it’s time to plan your date out meticulously, as you would a date with someone you want to really impress.
Pay attention to the details and have a backup plan for any unforeseen circumstances.
Make sure the art gallery is open on the day you plan to visit.
Have an indoor alternative if you don’t want to be outside in the rain.
Check if you need a reservation for dinner.
Put your date in your calendar and make it non-negotiable, this is not one of those commitments you put off because you need to work late or do the laundry.
Tips For The Best Date Ever!
When the day arrives, your date is going to be amazing because you will treat yourself so well.
Put your phone away and focus on being present by experiencing your date with all 5 senses.
Ask yourself questions about the things going on around you.
Pay attention to how you are feeling and make adjustments to be comfortable.
If the table is too cold, ask your server to move you.
If you are rushing, slow down.
If you want to pause on your hike to lie down in the wildflowers – go for it.
Lavish compliments upon yourself and smile as you receive them.
If something doesn’t go to plan, be kind to yourself, laugh it off and move on with good grace.
In short, be your best date ever.
Be Your Best Date Ever!
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Be Your Best Date Ever! 💞
Click on the image to watch Emma’s TV interview on how to date yourself.
Barriers to Solo-Dating
Your biggest obstacle is going to be you, which is perfect because you have complete control over your thoughts and behaviours!
You are already thinking about feeling foolish, being embarrassed, thinking others are judging you am I right? That’s completely normal, media and marketing over the years have done a great job of brainwashing you to believe that you need to be in a couple or with a group of friends.
Honestly when my clients do this exercise, they think that they are going to feel foolish, but they end up feeling like a total badass!
Don’t let fear of judgement stop you from reaping the rewards of joy and confidence.
I love taking myself on solo dates
After your date, journal on your experience. What did you enjoy about your date, what might you do differently next time, did you encounter any challenges and how might you navigate them in future? Then start planning your next date!
Have the best time 💞
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