Enjoy a Stress-Free Holiday
The holidays don’t have to be a stressful time of year. Instead of stressing yourself out over events that you dread, fill your time with things that bring you joy. Making sure you get to do the things that make you happy will give you more emotional energy to do some of the things you don’t enjoy.
You are going to make yourself 3 lists:
1. The MUST HAVE list: What does your ideal holiday season look like? What are the things that are really important to you? It could be sending greeting cards, maybe going to a carol service, or visiting friends, make a list of all the holiday things that are essential to you.
2. The EXPENDABLE list: What are the things that you dislike at this time of year? Make a list of all your holiday pet peeves, it might be the work Christmas party, overspending on gifts, or driving all the way to your brothers’ and then sleeping on his lumpy couch. This list is all about the things you want to avoid or eliminate.
3. The OKAY list: What are the things that you don’t mind? Think about the Christmas activities that you could give or take and make a third list that covers all those things you don’t feel strongly about.
Which of the things on your MUST HAVE list are an absolute must for you this year? Which of the things on your EXPENDABLE list are you going to avoid this year? Underline or circle them to make them stand out. Deciding it’s a yes or no for you and implementing that decision are 2 different steps. For now, focus on deciding which things you are determined to enjoy and which you just aren’t willing to put yourself through.
Now let's come up with an implementation plan. Are there any MUST HAVE items that feel unachievable? Taking them one by one use logic to figure out if there is a way you can make it happen. That might mean changing the goal slightly, or making sacrifices in another area. Maybe you dream of going to the Christmas market in Prague but you can’t afford the time or money to travel to Europe, so you plan a trip to Quebec City instead. Perhaps you love attending midnight mass and have been invited to a friend’s party that evening, so you leave the party early to attend mass. Prioritize and adjust your MUST HAVE list so that you have at least 3 MUST HAVE Christmas things that you are looking forward to, and you are going to make happen.
Now let’s tackle that EXPENDABLE list. Usually, the things that seem hard to eliminate here are the ones that involve “letting people down”. Guilt and should are responsible for so much stress and tension, it is time to banish the word should from your vocabulary!
What would happen if you just said NO? Imagine how freeing it will be to wake up at home and enjoy a lazy morning in your PJ’s instead of your screaming nephews and nieces jumping on you at 6am. Ask yourself, what is the worst that could possibly happen if I say no? Maybe you aren’t ready for that yet, and that’s ok. Think about ways that you can adapt. Are there any things on your MUST HAVE or OKAY lists that you could propose as an alternative to the EXPENDABLE list things? Could you go over to your brothers’ on Boxing Day instead, or meet somewhere in the middle for a meal between Christmas and New Year. Perhaps you go to the work party, but only stay for the meal and leave before the dancing starts. Figure out a way to decline 3 things on your EXPENDABLE list.
Keep your lists handy so that you can run any new invitations through it, this will help you to remember what you do and do not want to do, and which things you don’t mind so that you can be more intentional in your choice.